Dear Abby: Wife pals with friend who ghosted me
Dear Abby My best friend of more than years Ian ghosted me We used to talk about everything wives children jobs We spent hours together and helped each other sort out our problems He knew more about me than my wife With no explanation he stopped responding to texts and messages and is ignoring my calls I have come to terms with this and deleted him from my social media and social circles It s been two years now The dilemma is my wife Everyone else in my family has removed him from their social circles However my wife maintains contact with him As far as I knew they were only acquaintances Yet now they comment on each other s posts and play online games together When Ian ghosted me my wife solicited if she should stop playing online with him I replied You re a big girl I can t tell you what to do But I hope you ll make the smart choice Well she DIDN T make the smart choice or the loyal one In recent times one of Ian s daughters got married and that s when I detected out Ian and my wife were doing more than just gaming they were still communicating online My wife didn t respond when I inquired her why she was still in touch with him I m not sure what my next attempts should be I can t believe my partner would choose to remain in contact with someone who hurt me so badly I m also concerned about what Ian might say to my wife because we used to talk about marital issues we had with our wives Help Uneasy in Canada Dear Uneasy When you expressed to your wife that she was a big girl and you didn t care if she maintained a relationship with Ian she regarded it as permission Did you TELL her how deeply you were hurt when Ian ghosted you If you haven t it s time you did I can t predict how she will react but if she cares about your feelings she may stop playing games with your former friend I can t help wondering if she knows why Ian cut ties with you so abruptly Have you appealed her Dear Abby A year ago I became seriously ill I spent a long time in the hospital and days in rehab learning how to walk again My daughter reported me I should stay in a nursing home and give up on walking When I refused she stormed out and hasn t spoken to me since I m back on my feet now back at work full-time walking with a cane I can t quite bring myself to forgive her for that because I needed her so badly How do I resolve this Disappointed Mom in Tennessee Dear Mom Why do I have the feeling that there are facts you may have omitted from your letter Surely this didn t happen out of the blue Your daughter s reaction to the fact that you want to live independently is bizarre unless she was afraid she might have to take care of you It appears you raised a daughter who is lacking in character and compassion Resolve this by walking your own path literally and deriving endorsement from people who are capable of caring about you Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
