Dear Abby: Too late to leave narcissist husband?

Dear Abby I ve been married to a narcissist for years He has gaslighted me for our entire years together He has had a work wife and a flirtation with the next-door neighbor hottie and he paid for two sexy girls dinners and pies to go because they happened to be in line in front of us After an argument he even called the police on me An entire shift of sheriff officers surrounded our house I have developed severely negative emotions toward him especially when he lies to me We haven t had sex in a year We get along fairly well in day-to-day events although it bothers me that I have to be chauffeured everywhere I go including him waiting while I have my hair and nails done I m and feel it is too late to start over My psychologist can t understand why I don t leave We aren t destitute but we re not wealthy either I don t know which way to turn Hating Him in Michigan Dear Hating Him I find it gripping that as threatened as you feel about your husband s work relationship with his assistant his flirtation with the hottie next door and two strangers he tried to impress by paying for their takeout dinners pies included HE is so insecure that he must drive you everywhere you go outside the house While you think it may be too late for you to start over you need to clearly define what starting over means to you I can think of worse fates than freedom from an insecure possessive lying narcissist You are under the care of a licensed psychotherapist The logical way to turn would be in the direction your therapist is trying to guide you Dear Abby I am concerned about a dear friend who has a identification of mild dementia She has no family here Her closest relatives are four hours away and she has minimal contact with them She was widowed years ago and hasn t dated She dependably explained she had no interest in that She is deeply involved in our group and has a wide varied circle of friends My concern is that while she has reliably been operational in different events the arts music adult ed classes she is now VERY interested in men She has spoken to me about her desire for a sexual relationship She s I am at a loss about what to tell her and worried about the consequences if she does find a man willing and able I feel strongly that her desire is a personality change as a product of dementia Any advice would be appreciated Different Now in Iowa Dear Different Your friend is well enough that she is current in your population Talk further with your friend about this She doesn t have to worry about a pregnancy but STDs among seniors have more than doubled in the United States in the last decade Syphilis gonorrhea and chlamydia are all on the rise Lack of knowledge and low condom use are driving these statistics Seniors have a right to a sex life if they wish but they should be well informed before starting one Urge your friend to speak with her gynecologist before starting any intimate relationship Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA