Dear Abby: Mystery message has her doubting husband

Dear Abby I ve been married to my husband for two months I haven t notified anyone I m married except my close friends and family Someone not long ago messaged me about my husband stating that he has Asperger s They know my name and have my phone number I don t know who this person is or why they would tell me this now I already suspected my husband has Asperger s so I m not shocked but this is eating me up inside I can t sleep I can t think I in recent months lost my mom to cancer Now I m facing this I previously dated a narcissist who used to lie regularly But after all that heartbreak and torment I m now with someone who lies to me again I m so confused and upset I really do want to ask my husband to get assessed I don t think I can trust him anymore Do you have advice for me LOSING AGAIN IN CANADA DEAR LOSING Let me point out that individuals who write anonymous letters usually are not trying to be helpful and instead may be trying to cause trouble in your marriage Before asking your husband to be assessed for Asperger s go online and read as much information about it as you can You might also consider contacting the Association for Autism and Neurodiversity aane org which has been mentioned in my column before If what you learn from reliable tools indicates that it could be your husband s obstacle then by all means suggest he be assessed He may not necessarily be lying to you as much as being in denial This does not have to destroy a marriage Numerous flourishing people are on the spectrum DEAR ABBY My best friend and co-worker is I m Her husband died two years ago leaving her and her -year-old son alone We ve been best friends and co-workers for the last six years but over the last sparse months I ve been realizing she s a lot more to me than just a friend I am nervous about trying to make advances because I don t know if the feelings are mutual or how she views our age difference I don t want to exposure ruining our friendship I just know that my heart skips a sparse beats when our eyes meet or our fingers accidently touch I ve realized these last insufficient months that I m falling hard for her and I m afraid to let her know If I don t however my feelings are going to eat me alive What should I do FALLING FOR HER IN KANSAS DEAR FALLING Ask your best friend and co-worker to join you for a casual lunch or dinner Keep it light but tell her how much you enjoy her company and ask if the age difference between you bothers her If the answer is no explain that you care very much for her and wonder if she d be open to the idea of dating you If she says yes and there are rules at your job that discourage fraternizing you may have to find another place to work If she responds that dating would be awkward let her know you will consistently be her friend because you think she is special Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA