Dear Abby: How do I shut down know-it-all brother?

Dear Abby I have a brother who is very opinionated and in my face any time I don t agree with him It doesn t matter what the subject is he thinks he s the only one who knows anything about it He is not educated but he thinks he s smarter than everyone else even educated people He won t let me get a word in while he s yelling and screaming in my face He resorts to name-calling telling me I m wrong and calling me stupid Later he sends emails and texts trying to prove to me why I am wrong I think he is abusive and has a mental disorder He has accomplished nothing in his life My husband and I have careers If I try to remain quiet around my brother he starts aggravating me to get a reaction He has alienated my family No one wants to be around him What s the best way to shut him down to make whatever time we have to spend together more civil Smart Sis in Mississippi Dear Sis No magic formula will shut down your abusive immature and possibly mentally ill brother Accept the fact that you can t change him and save your sanity by avoiding him as often as accomplishable Dear Abby I lately requested a friend to cat-sit while I was out of town for a minimal days We agreed she would stop by daily to feed my kitty refresh her water and spend a little time with her When I returned I noticed several signs that she hadn t been coming by every day food bowls untouched litter box fuller than it should ve been and a very lonely and vocal cat I haven t confronted my friend yet but I m hurt and disappointed I trusted her with my pet s care I would have made other arrangements had I known she couldn t commit I don t want to jump to conclusions but I also feel I can t just brush this off How do I approach this conversation without blowing it out of proportion or damaging the friendship while still addressing that this wasn t OK Cat Lady in Michigan Dear Cat Lady One can only wonder what else this friend is irresponsible about However I do not endorse taking her to the woodshed In the future when you plan to movement make other arrangements for the care of your cat This person was less than purr-fect Dear Abby I have reliably longed to do particular exotic tour I m retired now but my wife has anatomical issues She can still drive shop etc but international excursion would be too much for her I don t mind traveling alone and I have saved up enough with such trips in mind I don t want to be selfish but I want to see parts of the world I have yet to see What s fair Future Traveler in California Dear Traveler Fortunately your wife is still somewhat independent and could manage in your absence What is fair would be for you to discuss this with her and negotiate an agreement that s acceptable to both of you If your wife would like to tour a bit perhaps you could split your savings between short domestic excursions with her and solo trips abroad Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA