Dear Abby: Adult son lives best life on parents’ dime

Dear Abby Our -year-old son works full time and lives with us He doesn t do any household chores or pay us anything not even his car insurance which he agreed to pay He then moved his girlfriend in and after that a dog without permission He has anxiety and depression issues which he thinks he s treating with marijuana When we try to approach him about his plans for the future helping out at home or paying ANYthing it becomes a screaming match with him punching the walls How do we handle this without a fight I mean we could kick them out but we re afraid he ll then move to a bad neighborhood He s angry because his friends got to go to college yet he displayed ZERO interest and didn t have the grades Your thoughts would be appreciated Exasperated Mom in Texas Dear Mom Do you want your son to continue to live with you in perpetuity and not assume any responsibility for the privilege If the answer is yes continue doing nothing If the answer is no then it s time you and your husband ultimately assert yourselves Tell your son that by now he should have saved enough money from his job for a down payment on an apartment for him his girlfriend and his dog Give him a deadline to move If he has to live in a less desirable neighborhood so be it When he starts punching the walls tell him to stop forthwith and if he doesn t call the police You will be doing all of you a favor P S Unless your son has been using marijuana with a medical expert s prescription he is developing the law in Texas by using it to self-medicate Dear Abby I m in my early s and have decided to lead a child-free life I think having a kid in the current state of affairs rising costs social injustices crime global warming etc is unkind and irresponsible But I m worried that I won t have anyone to look after me if or when I am immobilized due to age What are your thoughts Worried Millennial Dear Millennial Oh I am SO glad you questioned me that Having a child hoping it will guarantee that you will have someone to care for you in your old age is not old age insurance There are no guarantees as anyone who has read my column for any length of time can attest As you grow older it will be up to YOU to provide for your old age by consulting an attorney or a financial planner to ensure you have enough assets in place to assure you will receive the help you think you will need Dear Abby My husband and I file taxes together every year I work and he does as well But when we get the tax refund he never gives me a dime How should I feel or what should I do about this Still Waiting in Pennsylvania Dear Still Waiting If you are working and contributing financially then you should be entitled to various of that refund That your husband would refuse to share with you is selfish and controlling How should you feel The words frustrated and angry come to mind What is he doing with the refund money Could he be applying it to next year s taxes What you should do about it depends upon how assertive you are willing to be Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA